just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
