If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm just crazy horny about you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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