Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
