i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
