Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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