You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
