Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
