I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
