Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
