Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
