Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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