Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would ride that face into the sunset
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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