I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize