The maid of honor just puked.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
