if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
