Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
