Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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