I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
