You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
