Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
