Kiss
Puke
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
