you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
