I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
