I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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