Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
