Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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