Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
