You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
