She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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