why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
