so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
