was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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