I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
