4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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