I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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