I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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