HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
