Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
