i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
