she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
