This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How external is "for external use only"?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
