I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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