I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
