Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
