i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
