No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
