It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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