I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
