This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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