uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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