your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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