Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ttyl tear gas
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
