Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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