Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
