I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My pussy is not your playground.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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