if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
