just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
