When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
zippers are such a cool invention
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
