Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
dude. I can hear the air.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
