i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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