Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
