What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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