:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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