Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
