a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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