Dual....:-)
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
