It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize