In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I die, sorry about rent.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize