Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
