People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
