Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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