They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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