You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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