i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
