So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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