I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
